without her i’d be nothing, i know this sounds stereotypical for what you say about a relationship, but it’s true: she’s my everything. in complete seriousness every aspect of my life revolves around her. without her i’d be left in ruination. one time she wrote me a letter explaining her love for me, and it was the most perfect thing i’ve ever received. i never repaid her the favor of expressing myself so profusely. however, when we in the dominican republic i told her everything i felt for her, and confessed my fears about losing her. as my luck would have it, she was tipsy, and thus doesn’t recall any of it. i’ve never made myself more vulnerable than that night, and don’t know if i could do it again. but one day i’d love to be able to tell her everything. tell her how when i don’t see her i feel like life is hopeless and like i’ve fallen into a dark, cold abyss. another appropriate comparison is the concept behind hell. the suffering one receives while in hell isn’t merely physical, it’s also the separation from god. spending eternity from god, in theory, is supposed to be the most agonizing, excruciating thing possible to experience. me being apart from her is the same, i just have this burning emptiness in my chest that leaves me craving more. then once i see her, like a hungry dog i get as much of her as i can, not realizing i need to savor and enjoy the periods we share together so once we’re apart all i am occupied with is being together once more. i love everything about her, it’s ridiculous how much i love the whole of her; i never thought this amount of love was possible. her body for example, is something of the likes i never thought i’d get to have for myself (though for some reason beyond me, she doesn’t’ share my same enthusiasm for it). Her eyes are perfect; the shape is so nice, it’s hard for me to explain, but the shape of her eyes really casts a spell over me. then her eye colour itself is brown, but it’s not an ordinary brown, yet it is. it’s so warm and inviting, then accented by her long eyelashes and shape, it’s beautiful. i’ve told her she looks bad with makeup out of wishing to see her natural beauty. it’s not true though, she’s simply astounding looking with makeup on, but she’s also incredibly gorgeous without makeup. when she did her makeup during spring break, her eyes became such an unique colour i was simply in awe. it was just beautiful. her nose is so cute and matches her face perfectly, i really like its end, because it’s like just so adorable and kiss it simply because i have to express how much i love it! then her lips, which are so perfectly shaped, and not too big, and not too small. they’re nice and plump, but yet don’t show it. and they are just perfect to kiss. speaking of kissing, she kisses so amazingly. it’s forceful when it should be, it’s sexy when it should be (and even when it shouldn’t, but i like that too), soft and gentle when needed, and just feels so nice. her kisses are so warm and inviting, plus her taste when is just indescribable and warm. her kisses leave me wanting, no..needing, more. then the rest of her body: her breasts are perky and firm and honestly the best size. they’re not too big, and not small. they’re a nice size that fits in my hand matches her body nicely. they’re pretty attractive, and i’m glad that she is her size. it really keeps me content knowing she has the perfect breasts. this is a bit weird to say, but even though she says she has broad shoulders, i like them. they’re so smooth looking, and feeling (like all of her skin, which i love), and i find it quite seductive when she showing them. it happens rarely though. she has nicely shaped arms and hands too. i’m just gonna skip over her midsection because i know if i ever let her see this there will be no winning with her over this topic. now onto her bum. basically, it’s really hot. i can’t help but stare at it when she walks by. and i can’t keep my hands off it. it’s just so well shaped and very firm. it has that often sought shaped where it makes a half circle at the bottom. and i just love it. it’s honestly amazing. i think i’ve gotten a bum fetish because of it. then it leads to her simply divine legs. they’re so soft and smooth and shapely. i can’t help but drool over them, and something a little further up (because honestly, i think if anyone knew how great it was, they would too). i wish she always wore short shorts, or maybe even booty shorts, so i could just stare and touch, but then other people would get to see what belongs to me! so sadly, that won’t happen. i could go on about her body for a really long time, but i feel like her personality needs to be addressed. but first i realized i forgot something: her smile. it’s honestly the most perfect feeling in the world to see her smile. it spreads such a warm and happy expression over her face. and it’s so contagious and makes even the shittiest day sublime. i remember once she smiled at me, and i was like a deer in headlights. i froze in complete awe of the beauty. i felt like i had entered into heaven. it made my heart flutter, and still does till this day. she has bad days, moments, and even weeks sometimes, but everyone does and that isn’t who she is. when’s happy, she’s bubbly, laughy, sweet, cute, and so many other things that make her perfect. she’s loving, and i love it. just like i love how caring she is. although we may have different opinions on certain things, and act like i don’t care about that kind of stuff, i can’t help but appreciate just how caring she is about certain things. and i was going to say more but i just spaced out thinking about her, so now i’m going to start talking about something else. i’ve been with only two people before, and other person i was with was only me trying to forget about my girlfriend. even though i knew it could never happen. as sick as it sounds, i constantly thought about my love when i was with her. i was appalled that i betrayed my girlfriend like that, even though at that time i thought all hope had been lost at ever getting her back. and i said that because i know it’s completely unfair of me to be bothered by the fact she’s kissed other people, but it seems so wrong that anyone should be able to even get a taste of something so heaven sent as her. i feel like it’s my destiny to be with her, and that i lost her, then had others also get feels wrong. and once again i’ll say it, i have no right to feel like this because i’ve worse. i tried to rationalize that i’ve only even kissed two people, and the stuff i did with the other was far, yet little and not made of different things. whereas she’s kissed more people than me, and that they even out. but no, that’s not true, i’ve done wrong in my eyes, and probably in reality too. so simply getting another chance to be with someone who i adore so much is fair trade to something like that. this has changed from how i feel to my feelings on something trivial. so i’m going to try to change things back to my original intentions of this. one thing i didn’t talk about was her hair. i really like how soft it is, and when it’s straight it looks nice, and quite long! but when she doesn’t straighten it i really like it. like she calls it poodle hair, but in the pictures it looks really fantastic. she claims the picture makes it looks really nice, and in reality it’s ugly and poofy. but what i don’t understand is how does poofy hair equal ugly? i personally think having it look how it did during spring break, and in some pictures looks phenomenal on her, and really wish she’d wear it like that around me sometimes. this reminds me of something that bothers me. well not so much bothers, as saddens me. the fact that she thinks everything i tell her is a lie. my mom honestly likes fatima, and has called her gorgeous and thing. she denies that ever happening. i tell her she’s beautiful, gorgeous, stunning, breathtaking, exquisite, and more. she accepts the compliment, but i know she thinks i’m lying. if only she knew how near perfection she truly is. i feel kind of like hypocrite writing this. whenever i see a boyfriend/girlfriend write something like this about their significant other i always think it’s an over exaggeration, and usually wrong. but i promise this is one of the most sincere things i’ve ever written. i completely believe we’re soulmates, and meant to spend eternity together. and no matter what happens, we will eventually overcome it and stay together. i feel i have no other purpose in life than to be by her side. though i may say i want many things, even if i never get them and i am depressed from this, i will still have her to pick me up and bring me to my highest point. i just love her so much, it’s incredible
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